From pink to grey, my hair has always been more than just a style, it’s been a mirror of where I was, who I was becoming, and what I was finally ready to express.

October 16, 2021
Batangas, Philippines

“Treat your hair as a science lab, experiment.”

My dad had this quiet way of making me feel like no hairstyle was off-limits for me.

In freshman year, he showed me what he already knew firsthand, hair wasn’t just hair, it was a statement. He’d been experimenting with his own for years. He’d point out different styles, long and short, and tell me to try things. Because of him, I learned early that how you wear yourself on the outside could say something true about who you are on the inside. I was fearless back then, in the way only a teenager with a supportive parent can be.

Then life happened. The fearlessness faded. I stopped experimenting and started just… existing.

2020 changed that. Something about that year the stillness, the forced pause, pushed me back to myself. I started with color. Pink first. Then purple. But pink was always the one: a deep, dark pink that took five hours and SGD400 at a salon called Impulse in Bugis. They bleached my hair down to nothing first, stripping it bare before layering on the color. It felt symbolic, though I couldn’t explain why at the time.

What I didn’t expect was what happened after. Over the next two to three weeks, the dark pink slowly faded: softening, lightening, becoming something gentler than what I’d originally chosen. And the lighter it got, the more I loved it.

I’ve thought about why that is. Maybe it’s because the fading felt honest. It wasn’t the bold, deliberate version I’d paid for, it was what remained after time did its work. And that, somehow, felt more like me.

After the pink faded to blonde, I went blue.
I went to Royal Hair Studio this time amounting to SGD150, significantly cheaper than Impulse. The difference was the bleach. They skipped it, which brought the cost down, and honestly I didn’t mind. I was already dealing with something heavier than hair.

My job contract had just ended. I told myself I was fine. I believed it, mostly. It wasn’t until I looked back at photos from that period that I saw what I’d been refusing to see, I wasn’t okay. The smile was there but something behind it was off. I was going through the motions, and the blue hair was part of that. Beautiful, but worn during the wrong season.
I didn’t fully enjoy it in Singapore. The circumstances were too heavy for me to appreciate it the way I should have.

But then I came home to the Philippines. And somewhere around January 2021, the blue started to lighten, the same way the pink had. Softer, quieter. And just like before, I found myself loving it more as it faded. Maybe I needed to be home first. Maybe I needed the weight to lift before I could actually see the color for what it was.

After the blue faded back to blonde, I went for light purple. It reminded me of my pink hair in its fading days; softer, quieter. I also had bangs at the time, which made it feel like a fresh look. Since there was no bleach, it faded quickly. No surprises there.

What I did discover though,  experimenting in the Philippines was so much easier on the wallet. Full color with bleach could cost as low as SGD67 (PHP2,500) and SGD130 (PHP5,000) at the highest. Compared to Singapore’s prices, it felt like a steal.

Before my Siargao trip, I had a clear vision, ash grey hair and an androgynous cut. I was excited about it. It felt like the right look for that season.

It didn’t go as planned. The first salon, Index, took on the job but couldn’t deliver. What I ended up with was an orangey result that was nowhere close to what I’d asked for.

Disappointing, but I figured another salon could fix it. I was wrong. The second salon, Freshaire, tried to correct it and still missed the mark. I left unhappy both times.

The one upside was the price Php1,000 is about as affordable as it gets. But cheap only feels like a win when you actually like what you see in the mirror. When you don’t, it doesn’t matter how little you paid. You still feel like you wasted your time and sat in that chair for nothing.

I won’t be going back to either salon. Some experiences you only need once to know they’re not for you.

Today, I finally have the hair I’d been chasing for months; ash grey, androgynous, and everything I envisioned before the Siargao disappointment.

The cut is edgy. Shaved undercut on the sides, with the middle left longer so I can brush it upward into a pouf for volume. It’s the kind of style that turns heads, and I’m here for it. Short hair isn’t just for men, wear it with confidence and it’s undeniably sexy on any woman.

I got it done at Bench Fix for Php4,850. I’ve already talked to my stylist about experimenting more with color going forward, and he’s on board. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a good creative partnership. Can’t wait to see where it goes.

Update: The color faded within a week. A week. I was frustrated, to say the least. Singapore salons had their flaws, the price being the biggest one but the color always lasted. It’s hard not to notice the gap in quality. As of today, I’m still searching for a salon in the Philippines that can match that standard, one that can bring my hair visions to life and actually make them last. The hunt continues.

Love,
Maria, sometimes Niskie